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Do what you want this holiday season, not what you have to do.

This is by far one of my favorite books on marriage for this reason: I cannot control my husband’s actions.However, I can control my own and by doing so…I can change his actions. How I treat my husband invariably determines how he treats me. Laura,“What I absolutely love about this book is that Dr.If I am unkind and insufferable…I can expect that same behavior from him. Laura has a way of putting the true issues right in front of your face.Oh, not right away of course, but in due time a man can only take so much. She doesn’t hum-n-haw about important matters and she certainly doesn’t sugar-coat it for our benefit. I have a true appreciation for anyone that can give the facts to me straight.Men tend to be far more patient with us women because they love us and they hate to see us unhappy. That is what makes this book such an intriguing read. Laura gives examples from her own experiences with struggling couples from her radio program.

It is really interesting to read the dialog that goes on between her and her listeners.

We don’t get better at picking our partners–we actually get worse. The difference between “being there” and helping until it hurts.

Recently, I had a patient say to me, “Of course I’m going to help him. ” I understood her sentiment, but I also knew that this woman was practically unraveling her own life for the sake of a grown son who hardly seemed to notice her sacri ces. Specifically, does the advice you offer hurt your relationships more than it helps?

We have both grown a great deal over the years and I have been thankful for the advice that I read in Dr. It put some serious issues into perspective for me and made me realize the changes that I needed to make were necessary to the survival of my marriage. How could he not see those subtle hints that I kept giving him??

Because, ladies, unless you point it out in plain view for them, it’s not their fault and you’re not being fair to him.

When I was first married I was independent to a fault, strictly clean and organized (I couldn’t even handle ONE dirty dish in the sink), and I tried my best to reform my husband’s way of thinking to be streamlined with my own.