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Cruising-for-sex spots, in Rock Creek Park and Meridian Hill Park, just to name two, are attractions. On July 8 at a.m., Bill, the 55-year-old from Boston, leaves this message: "I'm delighted to be a part of this group." He then talks about his wife and how her knowing of his same-sex attraction "threatens" and "hurts" her.

Profiles in chat rooms and postings on Web sites are written in code. Later that day, at p.m., Steve, a 48-year-old who works in photography publishing, says this of his situation: "Basically, it works about as well" -- he laughs a shy laugh -- "as something like this can work.

I've also joined the ranks of the "happily divorced" and I'm no longer messing around with other married men, disengaging from the experience and pretending to be something I'm not.

However, contrary to popular belief, there are more "married men looking for married men" out there.

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By Rick Clemons for Your Just a little over 12 years ago, I would have said, "I'm not gay, I just like having sex with men! Granted, if you're a male and having sex with other males, you could be bisexual, but whatever you are, you should just admit it. I was caught in a dysfunctional sexual limbo that made no sense.

Of course, things have changed and I'm a happy homosexual now.

Shocking as it may seem to some of you, this phenomena is not new.