Perhaps it was a mom with one or two children where, on paper, we’d seemed like a good match.
Certainly a parent is more likely to accept someone with a special needs child, as opposed to somebody without children and all the freedom in the world, right?
No second dates, no follow-up calls: just a treadmill of one- or two-date relationships.There were times when I’d be surprised at their reticence.So let me just say that mentioning autism later has a theoretical value and a probable value, depending on what you’re looking for.Both Colleen and Kim have something to say about the “later” approach.I met his kids and we spoke about my kids, but I never mentioned autism.
I had feelings for him; I felt we were a lot alike.
Colleen, a mother from Illinois, told me, “If they want to talk to me again, that’s their choice.
It removes so much pressure and stress to just put it out there immediately, before the decision to ask you out is made.
“I decided to tell him about the autism and watch him run for the hills—and that’s exactly what happened! In my mind, I wanted to let someone get to know me a little better, to see if there’s chemistry on which to base a relationship on.
” While that’s a humorous anecdote that turns a “con” into a “pro,” in the end the decision whether to take this approach depends on your honest assessment of what it is you want in a relationship. This time, I’m determined to see if I can establish a chemistry with the beautiful brunette sitting across from me. Angel: “Erik, long-term success only comes through mutual trust … If she can see me as a happy, well-adjusted guy with whom she enjoys keeping company, then maybe the revelation about my daughter’s autism won’t be so jarring.
I felt there was a connection between us, but when I finally did tell him, he was like a deer caught in the headlights, and I never heard from him again.