Gay and straight porn addicts also act out in similar ways, “losing themselves” in a seemingly endless online array of intensely stimulating graphic imagery – much of it user-generated thanks to the proliferation of webcams and HD cameras.Gay or straight, sex addicts live highly compartmentalized double lives, experiencing a variety of negative life consequences as a result of their compulsive acting out.
In one survey of male sex addicts (a mix of gay and straight men) 87 percent reported also abusing an addictive substance or another addictive behavior.
For many gay male sex addicts, stimulants like cocaine and methamphetamine are the secondary “drugs of choice.” Users say these drugs allow them to be sexual for hours or even days at a time – without sleeping, eating, or coming down – especially when Viagra, Cialis, or a similar drug is along for the ride.
And let us not forget the cultural changes “gay marriage” (and its effect on “gay monogamy”) has wrought in the past few years.
Remember, many in the gay community used to deride marriage as an old-fashioned, demeaning, heterosexual ritual.
Public cruising for sex partners is fast becoming a behavioral relic engaged in only by “old school” men (read: over 40) who’ve yet to embrace the technologic tsunami.
And the number of old-school gay men is diminishing by the day, as it becomes increasingly clear that if you want to get laid, you’d better get “with it” in terms of digital hookups.
The simple fact is today’s sex addicts, regardless of sexual orientation, locate sex partners via dating and prostitution websites, social media, and smartphone apps.
The only real difference is gay men log on to Grindr, Manhunt, and Scruff, while straight guys use Skout, Blendr, and Ashley Madison.
Recognizing this, a heavily updated second edition of – already a staple among gay men in recovery – is scheduled for publication later this month in both electronic and print formats. Compulsive, problematic sexual behaviors are not solely a gay men’s issue.
The diagnoses of sex, love, and porn addiction are equally widespread among straight and bisexual men, and those individuals act out in the same basic ways as gay men.
Like many attached, loving spouses of both genders, gay spouses are increasingly expressing dissatisfaction with non-monogamy and their partner engaging in random, casual sex.